Betwixt and Between

woman standing between rocks
Photo by Варвара Курочкина on Pexels.com

Dear Ones,

You know what you do not want but only have a nebulous sense of what you do want. And when pieces of that nebulous something appear, you discount it as not quite right.

You feel alone.

Even though you can easily access what used to be, you have difficulties being alone and being with others. You feel isolated and crushed at the same time. Where is your new life?

You are flowing into your new life just as was true in your young-teen and teen years. In those 3D stages, you felt awkward and often alone while surrounded by others. You felt you did not belong because of your inner turmoil of discovering 3D adulthood and interactions with those who were not quite right for you.

So it is now. You are rapidly moving through similar phases – feeling awkward in this phase, wishing you were in a more advanced stage.

You will advance beyond your current stage within days. But you cannot yet believe such is so. Because you think you are isolated in this never-never land, you feel morose and angry at yourself and the world.

These unpleasant feelings are a short phase.

Before your transition, you had a full life interacting with those who fulfilled parts of you, but never completely. The 3D element you were missing was a connection to the Universes.

Now that you have opened your Universal connections, you feel isolated in your 3D interactions. Nothing that was of 3D is quite right, yet you yearn for the 3D fulfillment you once felt. At the same time, you sense a Universal churning of sensations within you – something you likely felt through your toddler years but negated once you became 3D socialized.

In a sense, you are now feeling as guilty about interacting with 3D friends, relatives, and acquaintances as you once did opening your Universal being in your 3D world. Such is to be expected. For according to your 3D world, you have gone to the weird side. A dilemma as significant as when you realized as an infant or toddler that your Universal connections were wrong.

You are foregoing what you knew in 3D and have yet to claim yourself fully in your new world. Such will happen within days. Even so, this void time remains uncomfortable for you have difficulties believing you will access that new world in your current state. Similar to how pre-teen you felt as you observed your older siblings initiating their passages into more mature adulthood. Most of you questioned your ability to complete that transition even though that is what you desired. So it is now. It is as if you are looking through an unbreakable window at the life you wish for but do not have the resources within you to remove that window.

You will remove that window when it is time for you to do so.

Do you remember how you envied those friends who found romantic interactions years before you? How you pined for something similar but did not seem to have the right words or actions to attract that certain someone? So it is for you now. You want to be someone who knows who they are, what they want, and how to obtain it.

Just as was true for you as a young teen, you are betwixt and between. Not old enough to interact maturely. And not young enough to continue your childish interests. It is a lonely time.

Those you interact with now mostly feel too young Universally or too boring in an earthly fashion.

Unlike your teen years, this phase will not last for years or even months. Just allow yourself to be. Do not worry about your age or the possibility of what could or should happen. Allow yourself to flow into yourself.

The difference between now and your toddler years is you understand where you wish to be and why it has not yet happened. The confusion of your early 3D or teen years is now augmented by an intellectual overview of your next phase. You know your life cannot continue as it is, for such is not a life of joy and sparkles but a life of longing for what is yet to be.

This maturing stage is short-lived. Allow yourself to accept that as you clarify who you are and where you will be. So be it. Amen.

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