April 18, 2022, trinityesterics.com
As you evolve, your boundaries evolve, too. When you are at the beginning of your evolutionary journey, you may be living such a base existence that you are only interested in what you can get from others. You seek to fill yourself up from externals because you think that is the only way you can assure your own survival. Eventually you realize you cannot thrive by only breathing in.
Then, as you begin to awaken, you realize you wish to serve others, so you may over give, not allowing yourself to receive. You may swing wildly from one end of the spectrum to the other. You may feel that you can only feel good about yourself by giving so you give more and more. While your intentions are always noble, that will always ultimately lead to exhaustion. Eventually you realize you cannot thrive by only breathing out.
As you realize you were an over giver, you might try to find a point of balance by trying to create set lines in concrete, thinking that is the healthiest ways to preserve yourself and your energy. But eventually you realize that while those lines may serve you well in some cases, they don’t apply to all instances. And you may find yourself feeling isolated and constrained by your self imposed restrictions.
And finally, you arrive at the place where you realize that there are times where the flow supports you in giving, and other times when the flow supports you in receiving. You will come to accept that there are times of intensity where others might require more help, or times of intensity that require you to move into greater self care.
You will also have the wisdom to know when it is time to step in and times to step back and allow others the chance to discover their own divine capability, holding a space of safety and encouragement for them to do so.
We realize all of this can seem confusing at times. You are looking for a hard, fast rule that applies always. But when the flow is always moving, and people are taking huge steps forward, or sometimes needing to take steps backwards in order to hit a bottom that is required in order to redirect them, it can be difficult to know what to do.
And this is why we are here to tell you there is one general rule of thumb you can always use with your boundaries, and that is to seek the solutions that support the empowerment of everyone involved.
Constantly rescuing another impedes their growth. Always telling another what to do, rather than supporting them to connect with their own wisdom and capability, sends a message that you don’t think they are capable of running their own lives. People grow and gain confidence by making their own decisions and learning from the feedback those actions provide.
If someone is about to fall over and truly do harm to themselves, of course the right thing to do is to catch them before they fall. But we highly recommend you do so in a way that is always focused on the goal of them standing on their own again. This is no different than teaching a child how to walk.
Boundaries are not about keeping people out, they are about finding a safe space of connection that honours the growth and well-being of everyone involved. This includes choosing to honour your own safe and supportive environment, as the foundation that allows you to make wise and loving choices for all.